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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23021338">Got Some Nerve</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatScottishShipper/pseuds/ThatScottishShipper'>ThatScottishShipper</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Author Is Sleep Deprived, Chronic Pain, Don’t repost to another site, Gen, Graphic Description of Pain, Hank Anderson &amp; Connor Friendship, Hank Anderson Swears, Medicine, Sleep Deprivation, Suicidal Thoughts, Trigeminal Neuralgia, squint for the Hankcon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:08:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,091</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23021338</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatScottishShipper/pseuds/ThatScottishShipper</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hank wakes up in the early hours of the morning with a Trigeminal Neuralgia flare up. His life, his experiences with  chronic pain.</p><p>*Inspired by my own personal experiences with TN.*</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hank Anderson &amp; Connor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Got Some Nerve</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Hank woke up heavy as </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Groaning beneath the sheets, the Lieutenant was attacked by an old foe, relentless and persistent. A thunderstorm brewed beneath his skin, throbbing a most terrible pain starting from his jaw to his cheek and ear, then to his nose and head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once the electric jolts of pain wrecked havoc inside him, making it hard to swallow and hitting every tooth inside his mouth, even exploding inside his tongue, his patience ran thin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t take it. He thrashed beneath the bedsheets, frustrated by too little sleep and too long with this flare up. Chest heaving, breathing laboured from pain induced panic, Hank resisted the urge to touch his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Touching it was the worst possible thing to do. Even if what he wanted, more than anything, was to yank every tooth out his agonised mouth, and holler at whatever demon was ramming a knitting needle straight into his ear to lay off already.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hank clambered into a sitting up position in bed, something that tended to help sometimes, or at the very least took the edge off. His neck and shoulder burned, and he knew it was spreading into his arm again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fucking marvellous.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A quick glance at the clock revealed it was the wee hours of the morning… and still a little too early to take his next dose. He whimpered, despising these moments of medicine management, tallying what he took and growing worried when he reached his limit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His day had already begun, but he was still short of the four hour time frame.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not only that, but he faced his next problem. He hated waking up needing to piss because it meant going to the toilet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it scared him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thanks to the cocktail of painkiller drugs he had to take, his body didn’t always match with his brain. That meant accidents happened. It was bad enough the one time he got tongue tied and literally couldn’t talk for five minutes at work. Connor had to take over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hand to brain coordination went out the window when it came to typing, and at worst, his legs got unstable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the worst of it, Hank had to </span>
  <em>
    <span>crawl</span>
  </em>
  <span> to the bathroom. It was a miracle he didn’t live in a house with stairs because he’d be fucked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thank fuck he was off today, but he knew anything he had to do today was going to be a struggle and that made him feel worse. Then the thoughts about tomorrow kicked in, and the tears pricked his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All day tomorrow, and all day the day after. Weeks and maybe months of this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hank never cried often, but with this motherfucker, he made an exception. Trigeminal Neuralgia hit home runs over and over again, it was little wonder they used to call it the suicide syndrome.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes, when he got a rare, undisturbed sleep, the thought of never waking up again did not bother him on his worst days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All he wanted was sleep, and peace from this </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, and surely, he made it to the bathroom, holding himself against the wall to steady himself. A curious canine face greeted him at the doorway, and he didn’t have to look to know it was Sumo, his trusted Saint Bernard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Hey, boy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sumo whined, plodding over to run a loving luck against his dad’s leg. Hank appreciated it, but he waited until his business was over and hands were washed before gently patting his precious boy on the head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time he got back to bed, Hank reached beneath his pillow where he kept his medicine stash. Then began the lengthy process of taking everything he needed to take, downed with bottled water that had to be not too cool.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The cold always triggered it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fearing everyday functions such as eating, drinking, and even brushing his teeth became the norm. Too many times had resulted in exacerbating his delicate condition, which made him feel pathetic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Who was afraid to brush their teeth, or take a drink of water? Being terrified was not normal, but that was the reality of living with chronic pain, being stuck in a flare up, scared that any little thing could set it off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the reason living in Detroit became so traumatising in of itself. A freezing city at the best of times, where venturing out became a gamble. Even the fridge and freezer aisles at the supermarkets were enough to finish him off (wouldn’t he be so lucky?)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And ice cream was a luxury of the past, a relic of the good old times.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Desperately, Hank downed every pill, resisting the urge to take more than he needed to just to get rid of any sort of feeling. His mouth brimmed with bitterness, and he knew one day, his insides would pay the price for long term pill popping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But what choice did he have?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally, Hank collapsed back against the wall, and he cried. He knew crying would agitate it, and he felt like a child, but he couldn’t help it. Living with a sucky flat mate that always took and never gave, unless it was a world of hurt and affected the common courtesy of a good night’s sleep, would make anyone weep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His throat burned, not at all helped by the neuralgia, and big tears rolled down his face. Hank hated crying like this, especially in front of Sumo, who flopped beside him on the bed, sensing his human’s suffering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And, of course, Connor, who had awakened from stasis.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Con?” Hank’s words came out slurred, and he hated how he sounded. So weak, so unlike himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Connor clearly knew, without running his vitals analysis, that his Partner was in severe pain. He ran a gentle hand across his forehead, whispering comforting words before departing to bring him something soft and warm, placing it around his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lavender heat pack, tucked against his screaming face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once the medication kicked in, smothering the pain with a thick blanket of fogginess, the crying nearly began anew. All he wanted was to sleep, to have respite from the torment, and at long last, everything dulled down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Connor held him in his arms, wishing he could take the pain away. But his comforting touches and close presence gave Hank something he never had before, something that meant the world to him in a life of pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A reminder that he wasn’t alone, and that helped as he drifted off to sleep at long last.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Inspired very much so by my personal, ongoing experiences with Trigeminal Neuralgia, which is quite literally a pain.</p><p>I wanted to capture the pain, the frustration, and distress of this condition, as well as generally what it’s like to have it. Flare ups are absolutely hellish, and I’m currently going through one at the time of writing, so it’s very raw.</p><p>Parts such as crawling to the bathroom, getting tongue tied at work, lavender heat pack, sitting up in bed, pretty much everything, all happened to me. If it’s not the TN, it’s the side effect of the meds, but it’s like a pesky catch 22.</p><p>There’s no definitive cure for this condition other than hoping the meds you get keep the pain at bay. In my case, during flare ups, it only eases the pain for a short time. Tallying meds is totally a thing you need to do when taking so many different things.</p><p>Ultimately, I wanted to infuse as much as I could into this work for anyone else with TN, or chronic pain in general (have Fibromyalgia and can relate with that too here.) There’s so little known about it, even by doctors, so it’s kind of an awareness fic too.</p><p>To anyone else experiencing this agonising chronic pain condition, my heart is with you. 💙</p><p>Thank you very much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it. 💙</p></blockquote></div></div>
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